How pathetic

 I am reduced to 'borrowing' from my other blog.  I keep saying I'll blog more on here, but obviously I don't.  Sigh...


One of my sisters recently asked why I don't post more pictures. After I got done laughing, and realized she was serious, I tried explaining that it would be cruel to do that to my readers (all three of them). The writings of my brain are scary enough as it is. Adding pictures would be nothing short of traumatizing. Why you ask? Because I've seen the selection and it is not pretty.

First of all, my nostrils never cooperate with me. Without fail, just when a flash is about to go off, my nostrils flare to the size of a couple of quarters. Well, maybe not a quarter. I tried sticking a quarter up my nose once, just to see if it would fit, and thankfully it did not! (I mean no disrespect to those few who have super pliable, or unusually large quarter fitting, nostrils). Once I realized the quarter wouldn't fit I tried a nickel, which totally fit. I haven't decided if that's a good or bad thing yet. How do you determine appropriate nostril size? I imagine the size of one's nose, or bridge of the nose, would be important. As would the length. Do the rest of the face ingredients matter also? I mean, if you have small eyes would it make large nostrils even larger? What about someone with super puffy lips? How about small eyes, puffy lips, and no chin? (again I mean no disrespect to the small eyed, puffy lip, chinless, pliable nostril people out there. Although, if you do fit that description I would love a picture to help with my nostril sizing quest). Yes, these are just one of the many things I wonder about. That and spiders.

I should probably mention that shoving a nickel up your nose isn't exactly pleasant. First of all, you're putting a nickel up your nose. Nickel's do not smell good. In fact, they smell like a nickel. Secondly, if you push the nickel up to far you risk the chance of it getting stuck. If you are an adult who just 'happened' to stick a nickel up your nose, and it gets lodged, no one is going to help you get it out. They will laugh...hard, and most likely take a picture or two, but you will be left to dig that nickel our on your own. (FYI; do NOT use a toothpick. Unless your looking to give yourself another nostril). It's not like you can go to a doctor either. I mean, I guess you could go to a doctor...and forever be known as gold-digger girl. (apparently nickel-digger girl doesn't sound quite as good).          ~by Planettiff.com~