and once I figure out just what it is, I'll let you know. Hmmm.....what's a good excuse for a blogging hiatus? (besides laziness)
Okay, okay, I know it has been a LONG time since I've updated. Good heavens, Halloween has already come and gone, leaving me with nothing but tight jeans and inferior candy. Why, I ask, do I buy the good candy knowing my kids will bring nothing in return but a bag full of bubble yum and smarties? (Our Canadian family should know that American smarties taste like little disks of chalk sprinkled with pixie sticks. Together this mix makes some killer teeth fuzz. Orange juice and Doritos are also good at this.) I think there should be a sliding scale for trick-or-treaters. We'll ask what their parents are giving out, and if it's not one of the big chocolate five, raisins it is.
As for my arch nemesis, 'The cat who Poops in my yard,' his evil genius status is confirmed. Long story short, Mr. Kitty made the mistake of doing his evil business in my sister's yard. (she lives three houses away from me) This infuriated her husband, Adam, into action. It took him three days, and a variety of food, but finally Adam caught the cat! (as well as a skunk-but that's another story) He took 'The cat who Poops in my yard' for a little drive. (no black bag or shovel included) A blissful week followed in which there was no cat fragrance to fill my nostrils. All of Mr. Kitty's poo bombs were disabled leaving us free to frolic at will. Yes, peace was restored to our land. Then, frightfully, little signs began to appear. Things like the occasional whiff of something nasty, or a suspicious looking pile on the lawn. Also, there was a decidedly evil presence in the air. Oh, I tried to deny the signs. I looked for any possible or plausible explanation, (my family vehemently denied any culpability) but deep down I feared the worst. Alas, my fears were confirmed. 'The cat who Poops in my yard' had undeniably returned. It was a black day for the Purnell house. A black day indeed. I fear the future may involve a paint-gun and Bryant's commando p.j.'s.
